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Arrows and bananas: a discussion of basic communication theory, the vagaries of English with a focus on co-worker conflicts
A reference to Groucho Marx – “Time flies like an arrow; Fruit flies like a banana".
About the session Dysfunctional communication is often the basis of conflict in any relationship, especially in co-worker conflict where there is no hierarchical or power differential. Talking, body language, use of emphasis, reframing, detoxifying language are all skills used by mediators in mediation; but if preparation for post mediation relationships is not provided then there is a risk that the problems will resurface. Hence the importance of understanding the mechanics of how sharing understandings occur between people and how that process can go badly astray. ”
Podcast: Listen to David talking about this session (8 mins) >> |
Audio recording of this session (1 hr 20 mins)
The session will explore the “encode, transmit, decode” dynamic; distortions; attribution errors and other problems as well as use of “I” as opposed to “you” statements and the reactions each of them induce. David Hurley
David Hurley practised as a lawyer for 25 years before realising the truth of Clarence Darrow’s (defence counsel in the Scopes “monkey” trial in USA) aphorism that “In the heart of every good lawyer lies a dead poet.” He had always thought he could negotiate anything (except where a precedent was required, or one party was mad) but came to appreciate the legal solutions obtained were not really in the parties interests or necessarily what they wanted. A different creativity was needed.
For the last 18 years his passion has been in conflict resolution. He sees strong parallels with drama in mediation and likes and adopts the description of the former as “…the essence of our cult - the ritual assembly of an interested coterie in a space where magic can be made and miracles occur.” (From Bruce Mason, NZ playwright and actor, “Theatre in 1981: Omens and Portents”) He has recently (AMINZ Conference 2009) presented a paper on “Turning Points” – those moments when people with deeply entrenched views change their minds and move on.
Communication, whether functional or not is a critical element in the process.
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