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Explore what forgiveness means, its role in mediation and ways, as a mediator, that you can reduce the damaging effect of revenge.

The term ‘forgiveness’ has been variously interpreted, and is thereby likely to evoke contrasting responses, even violent ones. This paper explores these interpretations and the factors which may ameliorate or hinder the situations which give rise to forgiving responses. For example, while some studies describe a ‘disposition’ for forgiveness, others note a process of change which culminates in a rational decision to move from resentment and anger, then to surrender the desire for revenge, and even to take a positive and constructive stance towards the offender.

But how does forgiveness sit with a sense of justice, or with hurt feelings, or self respect? How does interpersonal forgiveness affect relationships with the wider circle of friends, family and work colleagues to whom allegiance is owed? How important is forgiveness in the victim’s ability to cope with the wrong suffered?

This presentation will examine the research literature and refer to the writer’s experience with the challenges faced by disputants in family, neighbourhood and workplace situations. Further, it will question whether forgiveness is a necessary condition for parties to be able to resolve their differences through mediation, and the implications for practice if this is the case.

Encouraging parties to move towards self-determined agreement is a challenging task. Practice is grounded in research, so an overview of research findings may prompt thinking and promote more effective practice. The presentation will also draw on participants’ own experience which may support – or contradict – the research findings.

The presentation will include current research findings, my own experience as a practitioner in workplace, family and community domains, and the experience of colleagues.

Participation will include in the beginning of the session: in small groups or pairs, discussion of participants’ definition of the term ‘forgiveness’; and during the session: feedback on the research findings: is forgiveness necessary for conciliation; what are the implications for practitioners?

Podcast: Listen to Pat talk about this session pre-kon gres (6 mins) >>

Pat lives in the beautiful Dandenong Ranges outside Melbourne, although she was born in Sydney, and has lived and worked in Brisbane and Canberra. So that covers the whole East Coast – almost. Just as well she loves walking. She also loves her husband and her two Weimaraners, all of whom forgive her a lot!